Wednesday, March 18, 2009

"Cuando una puerta se cierra, otra se abre"

The words reverberated for me: "When one door closes, another opens". After a tough day with several challenges, all we can do is hope. It started like any other day, the standard routine: wake the girls up, dress them, take the dog out, hustle out the door to get the girls to daycare. Then back to the office to start my day.

The first hit, came mid-day when took our family dog to the vet. He's 12 1/2 years old and has been sickly for the last three to four weeks. No appetite, sluggish and he has lost his thrive. The vet's words were gentle but piercing. I think Jerry has lymphoma or some sort of cancer. Wow, I thought. What a way to go. After all, he's been a super dog all his life. He's put up with my crazy schedule since he was a pup. This still had a battery of tests to do before a final confirmation, but the sheer impact of the word 'cancer' stopped me. Our time comes eventually I thought. Being all too familiar with lymphoma myself, I couldn't believe the parallel.

So I brought him home and made him comfortable. I headed back to the office. About mid-afternoon, I got a call from my wife. She let me know she had just been downsized. Still struggling to comprehend and accept the earlier news I'd received this one knocked me flat. That's two, I thought. I know this stuff comes in threes. What next?

As I struggled to deal with the load of bad news I got in one day, I reached out to my mom. The only thng she could say was "mijo, acuerdate que cuando una puerta se cierra, otra se abre" (son, remember that when one door closes another opens). The story of my life. I've had a series of closing doors myself. Life's challenges that have you wonder 'why?'. This one was tough. Among all the challenges that the economy is handing me daily, I get this now? Who did I piss off? Why us? What am I supposed to learn from all of this? That fucking government of ours. Those stupid people who took out loans that they rightfully knew they could not pay for. The anger swelled inside of me.

In the end, it was my wife's composure that helped me get it together. She shared with me her experience at the mid-day prayer she participated in. She told me how she prayed for 'clarity in her mission in life'. We got it alright, perhaps not how we'd asked fo it but we got it.

Her peacefullness diffused my instinct to react, to lash out. Natural- surely the immediate thing would have been to fire off. I took a step back. Damn this recession. I dug deep at my faith. Another thing my Mom shared with me, rung true. 'God squeezes you, but doesn't crush you' ( sounds better in Spanish). I guess another way of saying it, is he doesn't give you something he doesn't think you can handle. I've been through alot in my life. Most have. Five years from now, I'll be able to look back and laugh at this time. For now, it was time to jump into action. To work through a list and knock of things that we needed to do to secure our household.

Call daycare, revist our family budget and prioritize expenditures.

When I spoke to our youngest daughter's daycare provider- her teacher shared the same words of wisdom about 'closing doors'. It was a teaser for me. Almost a check in to see if I was listening.

"I get it big man"," I know what you are trying to say" I thought. In the end, It is our faith in god that helps us through these times. I realized that I had to trust that he had my back. That he knew what was best for us.

I had to trust. I had to have hope (not in a man on this planet but) in god.

Show me the way lord...

1 comment:

skipper said...

I have found most sayings sound better in Spanish - even if I really don't know what they mean.

I know exactly how you are feeling - and I know that people like us will get through it because we know we my thoughts and prayers...