Monday, April 14, 2014

I'm so not ready...



A colleague sent me this You Tube video.   I have to say- I am NOT ready.  Are we ever? 

How it ends: DOIJ- It needs to be said.

How it ends: Dead or in jail. 

"This can't be happening to me.  There is so much left to live for.  I just took my little girl to Rain Forest Cafe- damn. Wait, wait!!  You were my friend.  WTF!  Dad! Mom!- really don't cry! "

We've all seen the movies- the deceased hovers above the scene of their death wondering why.  Asking, (scratch that) begging for a second chance. No one answers. 

As I saw the picture above online, I so wished I could take back my words.  I so wished I was wrong.  You see, I've always been the guy that calls it like it is.  I've been called the 'truth police' by some.   I don't believe in mincing words when it comes to calling it like it is.  Last June I did just that.  

When my nephew was shot five times and brought within an inch of his death- I'd seen this before.  It's a wake up call.  Some hit the snooze button on life and sleep through it, others- well they see it for what it is.  But to save insulting anyone- they dance around the issue.   Not me, I reached over and grabbed my relative by the shoulder - "you have one at risk*, one in the hospital on his deathbed and one you still have to worry about.  What are you going to do?  You know how this ends right? "  He looked up at me expressionless- "I know" he said.   

I later found out- I was made the pariah in the family for speaking my mind.  A role I've grown used to in life, I have the bruises to show.  The truth hurts- it burns sometimes.  I just couldn't see myself standing by.  You see, I've taken it as my calling to helping the youth of Chicago by making sure that parents (like my in-laws) see that Scouting is an option for their sons and daughters.  A possible way out of the neighborhood.  An opportunity to supplement what they may or may not be doing to instill a moral compass in their child.   I believe strongly the lack of strong moral fiber is what is missing- it is what we don't talk about in mixed company.  Whites know it- but can't talk about it- because they may be seen as 'racists'.  Some in the black community crucify those from outside their community for pointing out what we all know is true.  How dare they?  Heck, I'd argue they crucify those in their community who speak the truth- I call Bill Cosby as evidence in the battle for what needs to be said.  In the Latino community- parents turn a willing blind eye to the reality right underneath their very eyes.  Not 'mijo' (my little son)! He's a good kid. 

At the end of the day, Scouting faces the same challenge the education system faces.  It's sometimes our job to try and repair what isn't addressed at home.  It's a deficit we have in our society- a deficit of moral character.

So the call came at about 1:40 a.m. Sunday morning.  I've had tons on my mind as my own dad has been sick.  The phone rang and then nothing. I immediately thought the worst.   I ran over to the dresser- It was my wife's phone.  "Hon- it is your brother" Calls in the early morning hours are seldom good.  "Don't say that" She said. "I'll be right there".   We received news that her nephew had been shot by 'one of his friends' in an altercation.   The family was convening at the crime scene.  

As I waited at home- our two young ones asleep.  I reached out to my contacts.  The facts were pretty damning:  "GSW- short range.  Weapon allegedly recovered.  Not registered. Illegal gun. Gang related. Person of interest in custody."   

It took me back to a birthday party we were invited to to for his little girl last Summer.  The first one he was able to attend last July after he was released (colostomy bag and all) from a lengthy stay in critical care.  He was living the life then- wearing the colors and  everyone was in full denial.  Not me.  I could see that even being on his deathbed hadn't done it.  This had one ending possible: Dead or in Jail.  Strike the second option. 

Rest in Peace.  We failed you. 

*I've redacted some specifics as this is still a legal case. 


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