I've been on this journey for the past 16 months. He self discovery, experiences and emotions uncovers have been surreal. Those I thought I could trust have become untrustworthy, the exfoliation of my former circle inevitable. The eWorld is alive in a realm of seamless possibility. One after another, they present themselves like Beauty queens at a talent show- providing a glimpse into their many facets. Just when you think they have revealed theirs "all", comes another. When will it end. It is as if this is the way that it has been planned . Am I to be a nomad for the remainder of my days? When will "the one" show itself?
As for the people , my core remains unshakable all though the "accessory players" have changed and may do so again. It is fleeting or so it appears. All so transient. Relational vagabonds- all here to teach me about myself and guide me in my way to "the destination". Where that destination is or what it holds in store I don't know.
I ran across this piece in a literary perpsective that seems to Frame things for me.
It is an opinion piece on the author Timothy Leary's famous call to arms.
"Maybe you recognize the feeling to which I’m referring. Maybe you don’t. Perhaps it isn’t universal. Perhaps you won’t know it in your lifetime. I don’t know. All I can say is that something creeps up to let you know that you aren’t the person you wanted to be, that there’s more to this world than you had previously thought. Then you change, because you must. You find curiosity and passion and motivation that weren’t there before. Confidence and self-respect grow. Things begin to coalesce, to feel “right”.
To those who haven’t met this point and wish to, I can only advise you to seek. In the back of your mind, always believe that epiphanies are coming. Always focus on learning as much as possible. Think like a child. Keep both eyes and mind open, eternally. Be willing to entertain any idea. Look for teachers and signs in unlikely places. Reflect.
Pay attention to your thoughts and feelings. Look yourself in the mirror and ask if you’re content with where your life is heading. Care about living in the fullest sense.
Remember that in life, it’s quite difficult to find what you’re not really looking for. So stay alert, be patient, and believe that there is more. Really believe.
I love the style of Leary’s quote. It’s a sort of direct confrontation, a kick in the pants, a call to arms for anyone who is ready to hear it. I decided to try to craft my own version of it, and that’s what I wish to leave you with in this essay. I can’t promise mine measures up to Dr. Leary’s, but I hope it resonates with you anyway. Take care, friends, and here’s my rendition:
“Admit it. You aren’t satisfied. You’re not entirely sure why or how, but you aren’t. A vague sense of lack, a question — is this it? — gnaws at you, keeps you up some nights. You should be happy, you tell yourself.
You’re living the dream, aren’t you? Hip, classy wardrobe. Respectable career path. Connoisseur of TV. Internet extraordinaire. Sarcastic, detached personality. Gets a bit wild on weekends. Success, right? So they said, but you aren’t sure anymore. The “right”, “safe” things feel so… obvious, boxed-in, dinky. Some days you wish you could just burst into song on the street or make animal noises in a professional setting. You hear faint whispers calling you to the dangerous, the different, the bold, and the unknown. The half-buried dream. The maybe-someday travels. The secret project. The un-slain dragon. Follow the whispers. The hardest thing is to love who you really are and be that person but you must. Courage is rewarded, and life is a tenacious quest or nothing at all. Question everything. Startle yourself. Make somebody’s day. Ask her name. Bare your naked soul to all between land and sky and disregard the naysayers. You’re never alone. Find the others.”
— Jordan Bates"
~Lou Sandoval is a business owner with over 17 years Fortune 100 experience. In 2002, he left a successful career to pursue his dream of business ownership. Lou believes in giving back to his community and has also been involved in the Boy Scouts of America and serves on a few non-profit and professional boards. Opinions expressed here are solely personal and not a representation of any of the organizations with which he may be affiliated.