Dear 35 Year Old Me…
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Social Psychologists have written about the impact of the quantity of interactions that an adult has in their 20’s and compared it with the quality of interactions that we have with individuals in our 30’s as primary predictors of the quality of our relationships in our 50’s (Psychology and Aging- Carmichael, Reis and Duberstein ,March 2015). While there might be some extremely complicated explanations to adult life, the basic premises that we all identify when looking back at what we have learned in the different decades of our life are nuanced by the individuality of our experiences. At times, they are also influenced by any hardships or life challenges that we face.
We are often taken to reviewing those lessons at different inflection points in our lives- the birth of our children, illness, the loss of a parent or a career inflection that we might experience. It challenges us to stop and listen to our lives (if we so choose). In doing so we can deduce life's earned wisdom and pass it on.
In one of these recent inflection points, I was blessed to have had the chance to sit down and listen to my life, hear what it was telling me and identify what I need moving forward. As I was pondering what I have learned, I took on the task of writing a note with tips to my 35-year-old self.
As chronic cataloger of my thoughts, What follows is are 20 insights that I have learned in the past two decades. If I could go back in time, I would slip a note in the pocket of my 35-year-old self to make him wiser.
Enjoy.
Dear 35 year old me: In the decades to come you will grow immensely. Like your dad once told you about the steel he manufactured all those years as a laborer on the South Side of Chicago, tempered steel is formed by hot temperature and flames. Without those tests, it is brittle and unstable. Much like that steel, you will face some tests in life, but as you endure those tests, you will become more sure of your purpose. Enclosed are some tips you may keep close by:
1. Choose people and culture, not a company.
2. Real friends will accept you for who you are and who you are not.
3. The illness you will survive, will fundamentally change your outlook on life.
4. Becoming a dad is the best and most important job you will ever have.
5. As fast as you can make $1M, you can lose everything.
6. Wealth is best defined by the depth of your relationships, not the quantity.
7. Business problems are almost always people related.
8. Optimistic people are gold. Surround yourself with many of them.
9. Look after your health. Eat the green leafy stuff.
10. God has bigger plans for you, always.
11. Dad was right- Family first, then friends, then everything else.
12. Follow your instinct, Pursue your dreams.
13. Embrace failure, it means you have grown.
14. Your adventures in entrepreneurship will establish your resilience.
15. Master the art of storytelling, it is a human way of sharing your experiences.
16. The right opportunity will find you when you have earned it.
17. Be wary of those that seek to take advantage of your work ethic.
18. Make time for ‘you’, every day.
19. Listen three times as much as you talk in meetings.
20. ‘Growing Up Plaid’ IS your life story. Embrace it!
My wish for you is that you are blessed with the gift of being able to reflect on your life. Sometimes, it is these momentary pauses in life that wake us up to what is profoundly important. Listening to them can fundamentally transform our life. Create your own list or add to this one.
Lou
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Lou Sandoval is an American entrepreneur whose successful career transcends over 20 years of Fortune 100 experience parlayed into business ownership across several verticals. In his three decades as a business leader, Sandoval has catalogued his thoughts and journeys that will soon be released in a forthcoming book. Lou believes in giving back to his community and has been involved in the Boy Scouts of America's leadership by giving back to youth and the program that fundamentally transformed his life. He serves on public and non-profit boards. Lou is committed to paying it forward through increased educational opportunities, vocational and skill training in STEM and sharing the sport of sailing with underrepresented communities. Opinions expressed here are solely personal and not a representation of any of the organizations with which he may be affiliated.
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